"Do you ever get the feeling you're being led astray.?"

Somewhere, everywhere, there's a man standing before an audience, acting just a little too sure of himself for his own good.

He's probably all dressed up; Such people usually are. Tophat and suitcoat? Exotic robes? A swimming pool blue leisure suit? A circus clown? Something like that.

And there's something wrong with him. He acts funny. He makes wide, sweeping motions with his hands, and strange, slightly-off gestures. His eyes betray some spark of hidden knowledge, desperately-purchased and buried too deep to get at. And his speech contains words you've never heard of before - words you won't find in any dictionary, try as hard as you can.

He's just not right, this guy. A psychologist would say this fellow's suffering from hebephrenic schizophrenia. Most laypeople would look at his schtick and be reminded of the weird kid who sat in the back of the class, picked his nose and talked to himself (where is he now...?)

But if this be madness, there is indeed method to it. Those twitchy hands are good: he can pull doves out of the air and make rabbits hop out of an empty hat with them. Assistants vanish and reappear. Cards do the impossible.

Sure, it looks hokey, but you can't deny that it looks so real. And, yes, your inner high school physics teacher demands an explanation, but did you really pay that much attention in class? If you let your guard drop, and just let the moment wash over you like a tidal wave, there's a chance - and a good one as well - that, for a short time at least, you'll find yourself believing everything he suggests to you.

The man is a paid liar. He's a magician, a soothsayer and agent provacateur. He gets you to believe the impossible through a combination of slight-of-hand, entertainment and humor. And chances are you read his works - or the works of someone very much like him - with your paper this morning.

You see, the paid lair. I'm talking about. is an op-ed columnist.

Well, okay - maybe 'paid liar' is a little harsh. We're not exactly liars (though I've had some cause to wonder about some of my colleagues in the field) but we don't exactly come out and tell you the whole truth, either.

We're here to sell you our opinion, which is - hopefully - based on at least some facts. But an opinion is a highly-subjective, personal thing that is legitimate to us, but not necessarily legit with anyone else's opinion on the matter. And while our opinions might be based on facts, it's more than likely that we formed our opinions about certain subjects first, and then catalogued various facts to back them up, and discarded out of hand any "facts" that contradicted them.

So I guess that makes us bullshitters, one and all.

Just like a good stage magician, we show you our version of reality, loud and clear. But we do so knowing that there are those out there who disagree with that view. And the problem is that we all have facts to back us up: counterarguments, witnesses, expert testimony, plain and simple logic, even the annoying, automatic gainsaying of what the other guy has to say. And we don't have the time to sit there are refute - or mention - every single piece of evidence to the contrary, because that would be too much work, would detract from what we're trying to say, and would bore you silly to boot.

So we don't mention that stuff at all, or belittle it to the point of absurdity. We twiddle our fingers, distract you and get you looking at something else instead. Just like good writing can sometimes mask ignorance of a subject, amazing writing can mask inconvenient facts to the contrary. And if you're receptive - and let the words wash over you, just like the spectacle of a good magic show - then you will, if only for a brief moment, believe whatever we say.

The magic of a well-written column should never be underestimated: we can change minds in 250 words or less. But we're all just talking around the point. We're dealing in truthS instead of the truTH, and there is a major difference between the two.

That's why it always astounds me how many people are hooked on op-ed columnists to form their own opinions. I like a good opinion, well told, as much as anyone, but I also take it all with a grain of salt. I don't mind quoting people as a point of reference, but taking, say, William Safire or Anthony Lewis' word as gospel truth is just asking for trouble. That's paying too much attention to what happens inside the theatre, while the real show's going on right outside the doors.

Trust no one with an opinion to sell. We're all stage magicians - all liars. Beware anyone who tells you otherwise. Including me.

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on." - Sir Winston Churchill